“The meniscus is a rubbery, C-shaped disc that cushions your knee.” With a severe meniscus tear, “your knee may feel ‘wobbly’ or give way without warning.”
(Source: WebMD) This past week, my co-worker gave an analogy using the meniscus. Her mother recently had knee surgery, and the doctor explained how, with a damaged/torn meniscus, every step is painful. You feel every little thing, because there is no cushion. It was then that she realized that she her emotional meniscus was torn.
So was mine.
This past week was BRUTAL. My emotional meniscus was GONE!! I sobbed uncontrollably, and while it was cathartic, it was draining. Beyond draining. All week, I was emotionally “wobbly” and I definitely gave “way without warning”. I had conversations that I don’t even remember. I was in such a fog.
Admittedly, most of the issues were not my own. If you know me at all, you know that I hurt for my family and close friends. I carry their burdens like they’re my own, and there seem to be quite a few burdens right now. Not to mention the fact that last Tuesday, March 22 was Lizzie Mae Johnson’s birthday. She’s my grandmother. She would have been 75 years old. She left this world in 1987, when she was 51 years old. It’s usually a rather somber time, but this year, it hit me particularly hard.
It hit my mom harder than usual as well.
I watched “Army Wives” tonight, and I cried again. Sobbed. Then I received a text from my cousin (who I’m convinced is actually my twin sister, 2 years younger, but still separated at birth), saying, “I know u r over there with like 3 empty Kleenex boxes”. She knows me well.
I think that was the last of it, though. I’m a little better now, I think. I hope. I decided to take a vacation day tomorrow. I hate Mondays, and the last 2 weeks have been very demanding, both personally and professionally.
Wanna laugh a little?
On Tuesday, I was crying so hard in my office, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to walk in. So I managed to make my way to the restroom down the hall without running into anyone. After composing myself, I decided to rinse my face with cool water…and banged my head against the faucet handle. I told my friend and co-worker about it a couple of days later, and she said, “Now that’s one of those things that will make you stop and laugh or just send you even further over the edge.” Guess which effect it had on me. Just look at the title of this post if you need a hint.
Here’s hoping for a better week…