We’re allowed to feel anger

Today is not the ideal day for Davis to build forts (and request that I add the blanket roof when he’s done) on the bed while I’m working. I’m swamped, up to my eyeballs all week with work, and I’m exhausted. He requested—once again—to come into our room this morning…at 3:45 AM. I had just gone to bed at 1:00. ? I think I may have fallen back asleep a little after 5:00.

Usually, when I’m in this space and my anxiety is heightened, it’s easy for my go-to reaction to be frustration and anger. I forced myself this morning to take a deep breath, take this photo and focus on the blessing of my child wanting to be near me.

But let me tell you: That’s not always possible, and sometimes I’m just frustrated and angry. And guess what: that’s ok. I listened to an amazing podcast episode by The Shameless Mom Academy last week (“Anger Management for Moms”), during which Natalie Hixson discussed anger, particularly as it relates to motherhood.

One of the things that resonated with me is the notion that destructive anger is what’s dangerous, but anger itself is not something we should be trying to avoid. She said, “Anger is not something you can get rid of. When we resist anger, that’s when we start to make things worse for ourselves…we can’t suppress anger. It’s too strong of an emotion.”

When we resist anger, that’s when we start to make things worse for ourselves. We try to suppress it in any way we can, and then we end up exploding. We can’t suppress anger. It’s too strong of an emotion. By understanding how to work with anger, and to work with our triggers, and how to work with and through these issues, and to accept and validate ourselves for feeling the way we feel, that’s how we work through and overcome the destruction of anger.

So today, I’m not angry, but if I’m honest, some days I am. Some days, I’m angry that I have constant interruptions when I’m trying to focus on work. Some weekends, I’m angry when I’m awakened earlier than I’d to be. Some days, I’m angry and frustrated that I can’t just zone out and stay in bed when I’m not feeling well. These are all normal reactions, and I’m working hard to resist the messaging that moms aren’t supposed to be angry, that we should always be blissful and fully enjoy this journey every step of the way.

Let’s keep it real, you guys.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.