Deepest Thoughts

Since switching to the iPhone, I’ve been trying to figure out exactly how I want my notes to sync (I’ll spare everyone the details). I think I’ve finally figured out the best method, but as I was sorting through all 90 notes, I ran across a prayer from almost 3 years ago.
It was at the end of 2008, when my world and my belief in humanity and everything I thought I knew was completely shaken. It was less than a month after our second burglary, and praying didn’t seem to be doing much for me. I’ve always been able to express myself more efficiently through writing, so I decided to write my prayer to God one evening. 
December 9, 2008
Lord, I’m broken. My spirit is just broken. I NEED YOU!! I know You’ve heard my countless prayers during the past couple of weeks, and part of me thinks that maybe You’re not granting me peace because You’re keeping me close to You by not doing so. If that’s Your will, please help me to surrender to it.

I want my life back. I want to be happy and excited about the Christmas season. I want to be excited about life again, about my job again. It’s almost like my attitude/zeal about my job was stolen with my laptop. I want to feel comfortable at home again.

I’m struggling with going to California. You know the last thing I want to do is leave our house for days at a time. But You also know that Lee wants to see his family. What am I supposed to do? I really need You.

I’m feeling better as I “pray” this prayer, but God, I want it to last. PLEASE GIVE ME PEACE! I just want peace. Of course, Your comfort goes along with that. 🙂 Please let me feel You holding me. I think I can actually walk on my own, but I know that I definitely need you right by my side. I need to FEEL You right by my side. Please make Your presence known to me. I really need to feel Your presence.

Crying out to You…

Just thought I’d finally share.

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