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I’m annoyed every time this happens (exhibit A), but today, after spending almost four hours in my car during a commute that should have taken me 25 minutes, from a place that I wanted to be closed in the first place, skidding four times on patches of ice, and nearly suffering from an exploded bladder, I AM OVER IT. I’ve read about five Facebook statuses this afternoon by people who are either from, living in, or have spent time in, the north, all of which are mocking us and laughing at us for shutting everything down in “just an inch of snow.”
This is all pretty obvious to me, but clearly, they don’t seem to understand it, so here goes:
- The temperature outside is below freezing (that’s 32°).
- The snow falling from the sky is wet. You’re free to continue calling it a “dusting” if you’d like, but it’s WET.
- As that (wet) snow sits on the ground (which is freezing; please see #1), some of it begins to melt (because it’s wet; please see #2).
- After a while, it becomes compacted (that means it starts to solidify–sorry, big word: it clumps together and gets a little hard).
- When water freezes, that is called ICE, not snow. ICE
Have I lost you yet?
I don’t care where you’re from, or how long you spent there, where you get six inches of snow every two minutes for all 365 days in the year, and where your job stays open even during a blizzard and -145°, YOU CAN NOT DRIVE ON ICE!!! Try it. Go ahead. Let us know how that turns out, especially when you live in a city that doesn’t have an over abundance of snow plows, salt trucks, and the like.
So yes, we’re well aware that we might be “wusses,” but I’m a wuss who’s pretty pissed and thoroughly irritated with all of you who claim to be “super drivers,” who have powers none of us Southerners seem to have. But I’ll give you what I think you want (besides admitting we’re wusses):
Congratulations on your ability to drive and not skid on ice. Here’s your official recognition. Enjoy. In the meantime, please shut up.