Northerners, Please Shut Up

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I’m annoyed every time this happens (exhibit A), but today, after spending almost four hours in my car during a commute that should have taken me 25 minutes, from a place that I wanted to be closed in the first place, skidding four times on patches of ice, and nearly suffering from an exploded bladder, I AM OVER IT. I’ve read about five Facebook statuses this afternoon by people who are either from, living in, or have spent time in, the north, all of which are mocking us and laughing at us for shutting everything down in “just an inch of snow.”

This is all pretty obvious to me, but clearly, they don’t seem to understand it, so here goes:

  1. The temperature outside is below freezing (that’s 32°).
  2. The snow falling from the sky is wet. You’re free to continue calling it a “dusting” if you’d like, but it’s WET.
  3. As that (wet) snow sits on the ground (which is freezing; please see #1), some of it begins to melt (because it’s wet; please see #2).
  4. Have I lost you yet?

  5. After a while, it becomes compacted (that means it starts to solidify–sorry, big word: it clumps together and gets a little hard).
  6. When water freezes, that is called ICE, not snow. ICE

I don’t care where you’re from, or how long you spent there, where you get six inches of snow every two minutes for all 365 days in the year, and where your job stays open even during a blizzard and -145°, YOU CAN NOT DRIVE ON ICE!!! Try it. Go ahead. Let us know how that turns out, especially when you live in a city that doesn’t have an over abundance of snow plows, salt trucks, and the like.

So yes, we’re well aware that we might be “wusses,” but I’m a wuss who’s pretty pissed and thoroughly irritated with all of you who claim to be “super drivers,” who have powers none of us Southerners seem to have. But I’ll give you what I think you want (besides admitting we’re wusses):

Congratulations on your ability to drive and not skid on ice. Here’s your official recognition. Enjoy. In the meantime, please shut up.


    1. That's another conversation entirely. I missed nothing. I know what I read, which, as I said in my post, was people making fun of us, posting things like (VERBATIM):

      "This is too funny. These Atlanta folks left work early and have the highways backed up."

      "Right it woulda been 3 inches before the even considered letting us go."

      "They have no idea…we still would been at work."

      "SMH at my friends. Down in Atlanta having a fit over this inch or 2 of snow!!! Seriously??? We got 6 inches and EXPECTING MORE tonight!!! Stop overreacting."

      So perhaps YOU are the one who missed the whole point of my entire post. There is PLENTY of blame to go around for why it was all handled so poorly. MY issue (as I clearly stated in my post) is with people mocking the situation, as clearly seen in the above comments.

    2. I play both sides. I am from Georgia and live in New England. I have driven in 5 blizzards. I have driven where I can't see the road and have had to stop to brush snow off the car because the wipers couldn't keep up. My bladder has hurt on more than one occasion because it has taken me more than 5 hours to get home. I have seen women leaving cars to pee in bushes because of an icy commute. Here we all make fun of the guy who thinks his 4 wheel drive will let him speed past everyone else just to pass that same guy in a ditch 5 miles down the road.

      We know the South cannot handle a snow storm. I know from personal experience. In fact, my friends on FB were reminiscing that everyone used to enjoy snow days in the South at home.

      I do know living in the North we forget that the South gets ice before or after it gets snow.

      But neither here nor there can anyone drive on untreated icy roads.

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