Faith & Fear

Those two words don’t really belong together in that title, but they both encompass what this post is about.

Lee and I went to my mom’s on Sunday afternoon while we waited for our townhouse to be cleaned, and while Lee was on the phone, computer, etc., my mom and I had a very deep conversation about faith. She took off her “friend” hat and put on just the “mom” hat. By the way, my mom has always made it clear that she was NOT my friend – she was my mother; when I became an adult, she was perfectly fine with being my friend. Anyway, I digress.

With the mom hat on, she got on me about something I knew I should have been doing, but fear has kept me from doing so. She talked about the fact that partial obedience is disobedience. I told her, amidst all of my tears, how incredibly scared I am, and she said that she didn’t want to hear it and she didn’t want to see my tears (talk about tough love), because she knows that I know the truth, that I’ve experienced it, and I know first hand how God works things out. She was right, but…

Still scared.

In order for you to fully understand this, I can no longer be cryptic, so I have to explain the situation, as ashamed as I am. Basically, Lee and I haven’t given 10% of our income to any church or charity or anything in quite some time. There are no excuses, but as everyone knows, the economy has been ROUGH. Our last tenant stopped paying rent, we had to evict her (which also costs money), the place had to be cleaned because it was disgusting (and because it was so gross, we had to pay more than a normal cleaning). Basically, right along with my increase in salary came several increases in expenses. It’s been beyond frustrating. So my mom was telling me that she’s learned from experience that when you’re not doing what you’re supposed to with your money, that’s usually when you have money problems. I told her that I was fully aware of that, and I’ve also experienced that, but that I just could not write such a big check when there’s so much stuff that needs to be taken care of. There’s just no way in the world that it’s even possible. There’s no wiggle room.

Still, the woman with the mom hat didn’t want to hear it. She told me that I am exercising absolutely no faith, and that I know better. OUCH! She told me that my fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. She (notice I said “she”, not “we”) finished the conversation by telling me that wherever I get my spiritual guidance from is where I should give my money (we haven’t joined a church yet).

So yesterday, I went straight to the website where I get my daily Bible verse and commentary through iGoogle, but I wasn’t quite satisfied with how it was set up (hard to explain). So I searched for another organization that I could: A) Give money to; B) Receive a daily verse and message along with the one I’ve been getting.

After about 30-45 minutes of searching, I found one! Then I went to the verse and message for the day (yesterday), and hit me like a ton of bricks!!

“Faith is . . . the conviction of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). When the writer said, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”, he used two parallel and almost identical phrases to define faith. We’ve seen that faith is the assurance that all God’s promises will come to pass in His time. “The conviction of things not seen” takes the same truth a step further by implying a response to what we believe and are assured of. James addressed the issue this way: “Someone may well say, ‘You have faith, and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.’. . . But are you willing to recognize . . . that faith without works is useless? . . . For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead” (James 2:18, 26). In other words, a non-responsive faith is no faith at all… I pray that the choices you make today will show you are a person of strong faith and convictions.

Suggestions for Prayer:

Ask God to increase and strengthen your faith through the events of this day.
Look for specific opportunities to trust Him more fully.

Um, wow. I was pretty speechless. Talk about confirmation!

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